100 Short Funny Quotes and Sayings

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Short Funny Quotes, Experiencing problems and depression is certain in life. Sometimes, short funny quotes can help up release a bit. Here we have collected short funny quotes and sayings which can support you be happier and feel better.

I consider that fun is necessary. In our life we are busy. If we may be busy enough we won’t have time to worry, we won’t have time to miss individuals, and we won’t have time to regret. Probably, being busy means we won’t have time for fun.

The fun does many issues for us. Fun impacts the best way our brains perform. Fun supports us to join with one another. Husbands and wives, dad and mom and children, family and friends all may benefit from having extra fun together. These Short funny Quotes and sayings help you to be happy.

Short Funny Quotes and Sayings

There are a lot of ways to have fun.  Some people use games and entertainment to have fun, to assist them to handle tough conditions. I know individuals who have used sports and recreation to offer slightly fun in their lives.

Fun additionally makes you feel safer. Here are some of the short funny quotes and sayings that hopefully help you to be happy. enjoy these funny quotes and sayings and share this happiness with others.

Short Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes

  1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
  2. Never steal. The government hates competition.
  3. You know you’re getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
  4. Women spend their whole life to find the right man just to tell him every day that he is wrong.
  5. I’m not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I’m not dumb. I also know I’m not blonde.
  6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
  7. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  8. A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes.
  9. Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care about what else is on TV.
  10. Do, or do not. There is no “try”. – Yoda, from Star Wars.

Funny Short Quotes About Life

Funny Short Quotes About Life

  1. An egotist is someone who is usually me – deep in conversation.
  2. Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
  3. Laugh and the world laugh with you; fart and they’ll stop laughing.
  4. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
  5. Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs.
  6. You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.
  7. Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
  8. Never argue with an idiot they’ll drag you down to their level and beat you through experience.
  9. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
  10. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

Funny Inspirational Quotes Sayings

Funny Inspirational Quotes Sayings

  1. Practice makes perfect but then nobody is perfect so what’s the point of practicing?
  2. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.
  3. A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
  4. Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.
  5. And though she is but little, she is fierce.
  6. If at first, you don’t succeed, order pizza.
  7. Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.
  8. Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours.
  9. Why are they called apartments if they are all stuck together?
  10. Every tall guy as a short girl that drives him crazy.

Funny Life Quotes And Sayings

Funny Quotes And Sayings

  1. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  2. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.
  3. Keep calm and love a short girl.
  4. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I are not sure about the universe.
  5. Don’t knock on death’s door. Hit the doorbell and run. He hates that.
  6. I’m not short. I’m fun sized, bite-sized, vertically efficient, adorable, dainty, & great at hugging.
  7. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them.
  8. I want to kill the hottest person alive… But suicide is a crime!
  9. Short people. We maintain a great perspective on life because we’re always looking up.
  10. To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

Short Funny Friendship Quotes

Short Funny Friendship Quotes

  1. When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa…peacefully…sleeping…not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
  2. Perks of being short: When you hug someone taller than you, you can feel their heartbeat.
  3. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
  4. I wish my book of life was written in pencil … There are a few pages I would like to erase.
  5. Every short girl should have a tall guy that makes her smile.
  6. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
  7. Change is inevitable, except a vending machine.
  8. All guys hate the words DON’T and STOP unless they’re put together.
  9. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
  10. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Short Funny Inspirational Quotes

Short Funny Inspirational Quotes

  1. Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.
  2. Laugh and the world laugh with you, snore and you sleep alone.
  3. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
  4. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
  5. We are all either fools or undiscovered geniuses.
  6. Why do stores that are open 24/7 have locks on their doors?
  7. If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come to sit next to me.
  8. Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
  9. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
  10. If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Funny Quotes And Sayings

Funny Quotes And Sayings

  1. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.
  2. It is easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission.
  3. If at first, you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
  4. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly – to someone else.
  5. My mind is like lighting, one brilliant flash, then it’s gone.
  6. If you’re naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don’t like.
  7. Good girls are bad girls that aren’t caught.
  8. If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
  9. Life is not about how you survive the storm, it’s about how you dance in the rain.
  10. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Funny Sayings Quotes

Funny Sayings Quotes

  1. I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
  2. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong line.
  3. If you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back to visit, hunt it down and kill it.
  4. Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.
  5. Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
  6. I’m not a complete idiot. Some pieces are missing.
  7. No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
  8. Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

  9. A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”.
  10. Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

Short Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh

Short Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh

  1. In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.
  2. I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
  3. Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
  4. After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say “I want to see the manager”.
  5. Life: Besides gravity, nothing keeps me down.
  6. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
  7. All I want is for one guy to prove that they are not all the same.
  8. Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
  9. If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth.
  10. I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Short Funny Quotes About Friends

Short Funny Quotes About Friends

  1. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
  2. Don’t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
  3. If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.
  4. If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
  5. Everyone has the right to their own opinion… Yours is just wrong.
  6. Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
  7. When I speak with my eyes, I tell more than just one story.
  8. Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
  9. All my life I thought the air was free until I bought a bag of chips.
  10. Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.

Know any friend having a sad day? send them this funny quotes and sayings may change their mood and make their day fantastic. We hope you like our article on short funny quotes and sayings. The only one way to appreciate our efforts, you can rate us five stars at the end of the article. You can also share this short funny quotes with your friends, family and loved ones using Facebook, Twitter, Google plus, Instagram, Pinterest and obviously Whatsapp. Even more, you have any advice or suggestions about this article feel free to comment and share your opinions.

100 Short Funny Quotes and Sayings
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